Mental note to my 21-year-old self (part of it)

I would like to write a mental note to myself about writing a note to my 21-year-old self soon. This part talks about the current (and past) me and not the future me I want to be. I wanted it to be 18 at first, and then I realised I'm going to turn 18 in 6 months.

Okay wth I'm turning 18 in 6 months and 24 days?!

About time I stopped being some crazy girl who doesn't really act like a girl sometimes, about time I stopped being some inconsiderate (may I highlight inconsiderate) immature kid who always want things to go perfectly fine (and end up sacrificing her own sleep and affect others too), a person with enough concentration span to last her half an hour, a sensitive soul who thinks far too much about stupid things.

I wish there was more depth to my soul sometimes. I can see the waters evaporating from my 'ocean', I'm getting more shallow as the days go by. At least I was able to do some daily reflections last year and get insightful ideas while looking at things.

Now my mind's always a piece of blank paper (not in a good way), I got quite scared when I realised I couldn't interpretate some contemporary artworks well. My mind's been floating away quite often recently, I'm trying hard to get it back and I'm using songs to brainwash myself and perhaps understand somethings better.



Another thing to add on is that "wide Awake" by Making April means much to me due to some lame and stupid emotional turmoil. At this moment I feel like going "hahaha" to it but I'm still unable to do so. I don't know if its the music or the lyrics or anything that comes with it but yes, it means much.

"Too much Love will kill you" by Queen brings back some memories of the T1 airport, and also the time where a few of us started to talk about shows and cartoons for hours when we were supposed to be studying. (zomg its 17 june I read the archives!!) & then my stupidity. God, talk about how stupid I was for not studying for the O's (and now its so difficult to change)

"Don't stop believing" by Journey, the song for my long bus rides reminds me of loneliness and how I changed from a girl who despises being alone to one who actually enjoys it. Thanks to my wonderful timetable which is so different from all my classmates. Seriously, alone time feels great.

"Sleep" by Eric Whitacre, a choral piece, makes me miss the AHSChoir days so much. There were the good and bad times, but in terms of the music it always meant so much to me. It isn't the song that followed me throughout my entire choir journey but the beautiful music encapsulates everything.

"Fantasy on a Japanese folk song", a band piece, was the one that made me fell in love with band music after listening to it during a concert. It isn't my favourite piece now for there are loads more emotional or nicer pieces but it was the one that made me so determined to pick up a new instrument come JC.


There are a few more, but I ought to be doing other things now.

Remember the note to my 21-year-old self :)